Letting Go has been one of the most difficult concepts for me to grasp in this grand adventure of my life!
My mind can see the value of the process of relaxing, allowing, and trust. At the same time however, I am finding how incredibly easily I use my mind to override the very thing I would like to create.
You see, I have been in my life a self professed control freak. As such, I often hear myself saying to me “sure go ahead and let go. Are you doing it? come on go ahead and do it, Let Go!” I laugh at the irony of experiencing when my mind takes over, my Ego self jumps in and attempts to force something like letting go. I in fact find it so very funny that all I can hear echoing in my head when that happens are the words of my favorite coach saying “How’s that working for you?”
The reality is that this never ends well! I did not begin well. It began with my Ego being tweaked and fighting to control the day. Enter Miss Know it all, I get to be right, see I told you, you are doing it all wrong.
Although I can now recognize what is happening, I still find the shift to letting go a key trigger for me to play in my Ego rather than playing from the authentic place of my being, that place of my Essence. While I recognize the shift I find it incredibly difficult to Let Go which is exactly what would bring me back to living in my natural essence.
Ahhh the circular nature of learning can sometimes be maddening…..especially if I try to force it.
So for now I get to acknowledge the experience, thank my Ego for it’s latest lesson and “STEP AWAY FROM THE CONTROL!”
And while I sit here laughing at myself, I can see very clearly that this process is perfect, and the Spirit learning is Divine.